Twat # 4

Nearshores Codswallop - David Lloyd

This is an unostentatious and deceptively simple twat. I compare it to the literary work of the Japanese writer, Banana Yoshimoto.

I love the fact that on first sight the words seem so uncomplex, producing the effect that it is even harder to believe that this is the genuine article.

Underneath this simple twat lies a complex and artful creator who probably knows all the twat's most erogenous zones. He knows how to press key areas as well as stroke and poke

The use of an old-fashioned slang word was sheer quality.

David Lloyd: diobach@gmail.com

Twat # 3

Exophilic Bassoon - Jon Mitchell

"Did you mean:"


No, Google, No.
Cease your prophetic superciliousness. So confident of your success are you, so full of your own power that you're bigger than the question mark? That or you are infallibLE?

Jon Mitchell meant every single letter, completing what he set out to do: He waited until you were giving a press conference to the worlds' media in your best bib and tucker, then he sharply pulled down your pants, revealing that you wrap your cock in tinsel and stick a fairy on the end even in the middle of February. Everybody then recoils at your digsusting beard. It's worse than Mr. Twit's bear. His grew from his face and yours comes from your arse, except the hair is so long, dangling below your knee, that it's more like a pony tail and its covered in hard, solid, shit balls. English people are so horrified that they had to invent a word for this lazy phenomenon instantly. A commission was set up dedicated to finding a word, costing only £2,000,000. When discovered, they searched the word in google and you coughed up nothing, causing further embarrassment

Jon Mitchell made you look like a right red faced TWAT.

The use of a musical instrument as the second word makes this a very sophisticated, windy twat in need of wood.

Jon Mitchell: jonnymitchell@gmail.com

Twat #2: The first outside twat

Twat #1: My devirginised Twat